Three Empowering Ways to Reframe Failure
Do you often struggle with feelings of failure? You’re not alone. In this episode of Flow Over Fear and Three Things, Adam Hill shares his personal perspective on failure and offers three empowering ways to look at it. Discover how successful people have overcome challenges and failures on their way to success. Find out how to turn failure into a learning experience and use it as a stepping stone to greater success. Learn to be comfortable in the discomfort of setbacks and reframe them in a positive light. Tune in now for a transformational talk on the power of failure.”
The three ways to look at failure as empowering are:
- Failure can build resilience.
- Failure is an opportunity to learn and grow.
- Failure is an opportunity to transform.
we can learn from our darkest momentsand if we choose to learn from thosedarkest moments we can grow out of themand become something better so that ayear later a decade later we can lookback on our life and look at the numberof Miracles that have happenedand we can look back at our ourselves aswe felt hopeless and feel grateful thatwe chose the path of healing and chosethe path of learningwe can learn from failure and when we dolearn from failure when we do learn fromour setbacks we can grow and that growthcan Compound on itselfhello everyone and welcome to the flowover fear podcast where it is ourmission to help you to rise above fearand realize your ultimate potential inleadership and life I’m your host AdamHill and it is my goal to share with youthe human side of high performance myguests share their experience with fearanxiety struggle Challenge and mostimportantly despite all of it how theyRose above it to achieve incredibleresults so if you’re ready to rise uplet’s get startedhey everyone welcome to this episode offlow over fear and three things andtoday on this episode of three things Iwant to share three empowering ways tolook at failure and this has beensomething that’s been on my mind and onmy heart lately becauseyou know going through differentchallenging times and and experiencingthings in my life especially over thelast couple of years or a few years thathave felt like I was failingit hasn’t been a good feeling and I knowthat for many people out thereespecially amidst the you knowenvironment that we’re infailure the feel feeling like failingfeeling like a failure can be a commonthemeand one of the things thatthat has happened to me that that thathas changed in my perspective since I’vebegan associating with people that Iwant to be like that I want to emulatesuccessful people I’ve noticed thatamidst the successes that they havethey also have experienced a lot offailure and that’s one of the thingsthat I talk about on the show with thepeople I interview is is you know wherehave things gotten darkamidst this high performance you’ve donethat a lot of people have have achievedgreat things despite having thesignificant challenges that have been intheir lives that we might construe asfailurea lot of times we’re really hard onourselvesyou know we’re hard on ourselves whenthings don’t go the way we want them tobecause things don’t land perfectly inthe squares of the circles that we wantthem to land inand because it didn’t happen perfectlywe consider it a failure we don’t giveourselves a lot of Grace in thosemoments we don’t we don’t shape ourperspectives in the right way toactually look at it as a learningexperience on which we can grow fromand Achieve New HeightsI know that I am guilty of this often Imean daily I’m probably guilty of thisBen and and that’s why I want tocommunicate this is is not just tohelp other people to help and help youhopefully learn that failure doesn’thave to be the be all end-all of of whatyou might be working on but that it canbe a platform for greater success and Iwant to convey that to myself as welland continue to remind myself of thatbecause no matter how we swing itfailure does not feel goodsetbacks do not feel goodwhen we when we Face challenges a lot oftimes they don’t feel good but thesecret to success is discomfortand getting that and learning to becomfortable in that discomfort of whatwe perceive to be failure and maybereframing it into something positive andcelebrating those failures might be theway to achieve greater successand so I want to kind of I want to leadinto this with a bit of a story aboutone of my first experiences with failureI think I was about four or five yearsold and our family was visiting Yosemiteand I remember this was during themiddle of winterand so there was snow all around and andeverything looked Majestic and Iremember that we went to an ice skatingrink and my siblings who were all a fewyears older than I did than I wasyou know took to the ice skating veryvery easily they they got on the icethey maybe flail a little bit but thenthey started going but my four-year-oldfive-year-old selfI didn’t really take kindly to the iceand I didn’t want to venture out intothe middle of the ice skating rinkbecause that’s where it was scary that’swhere you know I would fall and Iwouldn’t have any support so my goal forthat trip to the ice skating rinkwas to just follow the wall all aroundthe rink until I got to the other sideand I will tell you within the first fewfeet I I held onto that wall and as Iheld onto that wall and I kept movingdown the The Ice I would fallnotoriously you know and and uh and andfollowed my butt and then I’d be I’d bethere and I’d have to pick myself up andstart crawling againand I did that and every time I fell Igot back up and I kept creeping alongthe wall it was not a pretty sight itwas it was darn right ugly but as I gotabout halfway down halfway along the iceskating rink I remember that I hadpeople that were just watching me thatwere really cheering me on that reallywanted me to succeed in this and it wasno longer just a series of a bunch oflittle failures where I kept fallingdownbut it became learning the lessons andmoving a little farther along before Ifell the next time and then learning toget a little bit more courage and takingmaybe one hand off of the wall untilfinally probably about 30 minutes laterI made it around the ice skating rink tothe other side and then I was doneand that was a that was a powerfulexperience I can look back on and andreally reflect on as as just kind of asmall scale experience with failure Imean this was not a a wide scale lifetransforming experience although at thetime it was something I could be veryproud of my four-year-old orfive-year-old little snow bootsit wasbut it was something I can look back onand and associate with how I perceivefailureI could have fallen onceand then said well this is terrible Idon’t like this and then I would havegotten off the ice and I would have justconsidered myself a failurebut I chose instead to keep going andthis is something that David manimo whois on uh was was on my podcast not longago had described pretty well that thatfailure is only happens when we give upif we keep goingwe’re not really failing we’re failingupward we’re failing forwardand that’s exactly what I did was Ifailed forward in that experience andyou might not be trying to get an aroundan ice skating rink things might be alittle moreuh more difficult in your life you knowthis it could be during these kinds ofeconomic circumstances where we’reseeing layoffs left and right from fromthe big technology companies you couldbe being laid off from one of thosecompanies and that could feel like atremendous failure that has us feelingvery vulnerable because of the livesthat we the livelihoods that we’ve putinto these jobs that we have only to belaid off you could be in the oppositeposition of being a leader who has tolay off people which is no more no moreenjoyable than than having to sit on theother side of that chair and you mightfeel like it’s a failurebutI will say that as painful as thosecircumstances are and I’ve been in thatseat twice where I’ve lost my job uh twooccasions in my life and had to startfrom scratchandit’s never a fun thingbut the result is if you can look at itas an opportunityand you could seek the opportunity in ityou can change your perspective on onthat failure yeah no it’s not going tobe pleasant it’s going to be painful butremember that the growth happens indiscomfortand this is this will be an opportunityto growuh in those and and we also have toremember within that just kind ofsitting in this in this in this world ofof layoffs at the moment uh you knowI’ll say thatthat people like Abe Lincoln Steve JobsJK Rowling Howard Stern Lady Gaga MarkCuban Michael Bloomberg Oprah Winfreyand Walt Disney do you know what theyall had in common they were all laid offat one time and Walt Disney inparticular was laid off because becausethe newspaper that he was laid off fromsaid that he lacked imaginationcan you think about that the guy whocreated Disneylandlacks imaginationI mean he literally has employees calledimagineers but remember that this thateven if it’s not a good fit it mightjust be a new opportunity to take onsomething new and I’m not saying youhave to go out there you have to be MarkCuban or Oprah Winfrey or anything likethatbut if you can reshape that perspectiveof failureinto something more meaningful moreempowering it can change your lifeI know it did even in the midst of mylayoffs that that I was uh I was unhappythat that it was a scary time in my lifebut I was able to but in retrospect andlooking back it was probably thegreatest thing that ever happened to mein those situationsand so that kind of leads into what whatcan happen from failure how can we shiftit into it how what are some empoweringways in which we can look at failureand I keep using the word because I wantto I want to reframe it completely Idon’t want it to sound like it’s anegative connotation I want it to bejust a setback that we can actually growfromso the first thing of three is thatfailure builds resilience if we bringthe right perspective to it as long aswe don’t lean into that victim mentalityand we don’t live in that victimmentalityuh we will we can we can insteadperceive it we can lean intoopen-mindedness of what might be anopportunity that’s yet to come if weinstead fall uh uh fall victim towhatever circumstances are happening tous that that perceive us as victim we’remore likely to leave the ice skatingrink before we get around the entirerinkand that is the ultimate definition ofthe negative failures that we is that wegive up before we have the chance to seethe miracle happenso that first partit will build resilience if you allow itto if you don’t lean into that victimmentality and yes it’s going to hurt itfirst yes it’s okay to feel thosefeelings yes it’s okay to do whateveryou need to do to to experience thatfeelings but move on move on from it andstart to grow again and start to andstart to lean into the growth that youwant to experienceand the second one which is a littlecliche but it Bears repeating is thatfailure is an opportunity to learn andgrowwe can learn from those experiencesin this in a situation where you mightbe laid off from a job you might thinkto yourself well this is a learningexperience for me to understand maybewhat kinds of positions I should be inor maybe I can learn what might havehelped me to keep that job or what kindof experiences I can I can gain fromthis or what kind of resourcefulness Ican use so that if this ever happensagain I don’t have to be in this in thisdifficult of a state I can learn fromthis in my in one of my circumstancesum I umyou know about 11 years ago II was at my bottom and this was I wasa terrible anxiety in the midst of myalcoholism and I was at my worst to thepoint where I was sitting in a jail cellafter a DUI and I thought that my lifewas over I was completely hopelessbutfortunately I leaned in to help I leanedinto Community I learned it leaned intothat uh resourcefulness and I learnedlessons about myself at that point Ilearned that I didn’t have control overalcohol anymore that that I never reallydidthat I learned that I was a truealcoholic I learned to get real withmyself I learned to dig deep on myemotions and I learned to heal that’swhat ultimately got me to that level ofbeing able to face my fears walk intothe rooms of AA and start to recoverfrom thatwe can learn from our darkest momentsand if we choose to learn from thosedarkest moments we can grow out of themand become something better so that ayear later a decade later we can lookback on our life and look at the numberof Miracles that have happenedand we can look back at our ourselves aswe felt hopeless and feel grateful thatwe chose the path of healing and chosethe path of learningwe can learn from failure and when we dolearn from failure when we do learn fromour setbacks we can grow and that growthcan Compound on itselfand the final thing the FI the thirdthing that the third empowering way thatwe can look at failure is that failureis an opportunity to transformand this is an important element of myexperience coming out of that jail cellthat that day I could have chosen not totransformand would have lived in that in thatspiral and probably not be alive todaybut instead I chose to transform who Iwasnot just learn from the experience buteven transcend that experience transcendthe desire to drink and transcend myanxietyto transform my life into something newto transform who I was into somethingnew that could be more powerfulhow can the setbacks in your lifespark a transformationin your lifehow can what you would perceive as afailure spark a transformation is it atransformation of a new beginning a newjob a new career a new business a newhealth Venture what is it in your lifethat you can transform the power iswithin youthe power is is within you and you canyou can succeed through thatum just one recent experience that I Itake this this uh this message ofof empowering empowerment throughfailure or learning through failuretransforming through failure I try tolive it out my own life now especiallyas I continue to go through some of myown challenges uh in challenges in mybusiness challenges in in you knowstarting up this this coaching businessand the speaking business or orchallenges of my own you know family oror whatever it may beit’s not always perfect because I alwaysfeel the feelings it’s always hard it’salways uncomfortable and a lot of andsometimes I lean into that victimmentality of why me or why is thishappening to me but ultimately if I canjust take a deep breath and reset andlook at at a new perspective on ituh I I can take that take those setbacksand learn from them and transformrecently I’ve been taking a karate classI’ve been I’ve been in a karate classwith my family the whole family does itit’s really really awesome and I enjoyit and in that karate class I learn aseries of we learn a series of defensivetechniques they’re called DTS whichquite interesting for an alcoholic tolearn something called the DTs when youknow that’s what I experienced in myalcoholic days but I digressum the DTs in in karate are calledDefensive techniques and there are over100 of them 108 of them I thinkandI’m on number 12 so that goes to showwhere where I’m at about in my journeyof of this karate uhbut dt-12 was always a bit of achallenge to me it seems very simple youknow first you kick with one footforward and then you spin you kick withyou you kick towards your back and thenyou complete the spin and you land youknow on your feetand it was it’s always been difficultfor me as I trained for it but I wasrecently in a class where our instructorsaid you know all right we’re going tofocus on two DTS today what is yourfavorite DT and what is the one you’restruggling with the mostand so I chose mine and the one I wasstruggling with the most was dt12 andover the course of the next hour I hadto do probably 50 or 60 of that D thatDT in a row in multiple differentscenarios in you know against the airagainst another person in a tacticalsituation so that I could learn to getto perfect it 59 of those times I failedat itthe 60th and then the 61st and then the62nd and so on and so forth forthroughout however many times we did itI actually did it correctly I learned Itransformed it I was able to transformthe uh the the actions that I was doinginto something more positive because Iwas able to learn through thatexperienceI built the resilience that’s that wasmy recent adult experience around of ofgetting around the ice skating rinkwhilst falling throughout most of thatexperiencebut throughout that process I builtresilienceI used it as an opportunity to learn andgrowand I used it to an opera as anopportunity to transform who I was andultimatelybecause of that perspective on onfailureand failing upward towards successI was able to gain more confidence atthe end and realize now I can do thiswhat else can I dowe have that capability because offailure because of the way we might failto increase our comp confidence and ourcompetenceso what is your perspective on failureare you going to look at it as somethingthat is insurmountable something thatsomething that leads into wanting to bea victim or leads you into wanting orleads you into this feeling of absolutehopelessness or despairare you going to use it to youradvantage to grow to become somethingnewand to become your own greatest herothank you for joining me today and I’lllook forward to seeing you next timethankshey everyone Thanks for tuning in to theflow over fear podcast if you’d like tolearn more about getting into flow andlearn the foundations of flow I have afree video series on my website atwww.adamcliffordhill.com called thefoundations of flow feel free to gothere and download it and start yourjourney to Rising above fear andachieving greater flow in your life ifyou like this episode and I’m guessingyou did if you stuck around for thislong then please do me a favor and hitthe Subscribe button and you willreceive notifications when I have newinterviews new Recaps and new trainingsthat pop up on YouTube thanks again forjoining us