You’re probably tired of talking about New Year’s Resolutions.
I’m tired of it too. I’ve been tired of talking about them for years. New Years resolutions are annoying. Why? Because we rarely achieve them. In fact only 8% of New Year’s resolutions actually get achieved.
So why am I talking about New Year’s resolutions then? Well, because in this world of personal development, as a transformation coach, I have to talk about it. I want to stop the insanity! I want to save you from your New Year’s resolutions.
I want to introduce you to the Big, Brave, and Clear Dream.
A Big, Brave, Clear Dream (or a BBC Dream for those who prefer dreaming in a British accent) is just that. It’s a dream that is big (meaning it a life changing/affirming dream), it’s brave (meaning there is a sense of fear that must be overcome to achieve it), and it’s clear (meaning you know exactly what success looks like). Most resolutions, and goals in general lack these important qualities.
But if a dream does have these qualities, it is more likely that we will prioritize it in our lives and continue to pursue it even when it gets hard.
There are three key elements of a BBC Dream, represented by a Venn diagram.
It’s Grounded In Your Core Values
When you say you have a goal of getting six pack abs, is that truly grounded in your core values? No. Let’s face it, it’s purely grounded in your ego. Same with the goal of becoming a millionaire, buying the big house, or really anything superficial. To be grounded in our core values, a dream or goal has to hit at the very heart strings of what we value most in life. Do you value faith? Do you value compassion? Do you value humor or intelligence? Health and well being? Then find a dream or goal that aligns with that. Typically, you’ll find that a compelling dream – one that lights you up – is one that “serves” in some way. Six pack abs don’t really serve anyone, nor do they add value. But maybe signing up to complete that marathon with the intent of raising money for a favorite charity could do that.
It Has a Deep Personal Meaning to You
There is a tremendous power in story. It conveys belief, emotion, power, and of course meaning. The story you tell about your dream is no different. And you have the control to define your own story to convey the meaning you need. The story you tell is the difference between hating your job and loving the challenge. Feeling trapped and feeling abundant. Becoming wealthy for the status and creating value for the service. When you attach a powerful meaning to your goal, you make it that much more imprinted in your psyche that it must be achieved.
It Has the “Oh Shit!” Factor
What is the “Oh Shit!” factor? Have you ever had an experience (likely in the shower – it always happens in the shower) where you have a brilliant idea? It could be an adventure you want to go on, a new project you want to pursue, a new career or business path, or a new hobby. It gives you that first jolt of excitement, followed immediately by a jolt of fear. It’s the “That sounds awesome!… But I can’t do that!” moment. I call that the “Oh Shit!” factor. It’s equal measure of fear and excitement popping up around an idea. It’s an indication that you might be onto something worth running through your values and meaning filter. This element of fear is acting as a signal that you would be pursuing something just outside of your comfort zone, which will trigger growth.
If you want to stick to your New Year’s resolutions, first of all, stop setting New Year’s Resolutions. It creates arbitrary goals with arbitrary timelines. Instead, give your mind the freedom to dream big, brave, and clear. Find a goal that lights you up in alignment with your core values, one that has a deep and personal meaning to you, and one that triggers that “Oh Shit!” moment in you.
If you find that dream, you will be much more likely to find the discipline to persist AND enjoy the journey in the process. Listen to me: The goal of six pack abs brings no joy – not in the journey, and only disappointment in the destination.
Personally, my journey to my life of abundance started when I adopted a BBC Dream, and when I aligned it with values, meaning, and “oh shit!”.
If you would be open to discovering how you can rise above fear and realize your ultimate potential, reach out to me for a free strategy call. I look forward to hearing from you!