Overcoming Imposter Syndrome with John Mollura

John Mollura: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Leaning into Faith – YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOR4-MLQf8U

Transcript:
(00:00) fear hates facts like imposter syndrome or any kind of negative emotion is especially if it’s fear-based you know fear will will shrivel up and and die when you shine like some facts on it and yeah so just remember fear hates facts like okay I’m I’m not feeling up for this why like what’s what’s going on what what’s what’s the what’s the data what’s the truth that supports this fear and I bet nine times out of ten are probably closer to ten times out of 10 there won’t be any facts
(00:39) supporting the fear but what I can guarantee people have is a boatload of facts supporting that they actually are capable or are worth it hello everyone and welcome to the flow over fear podcast where it is our mission to help you to rise above fear and realize your ultimate potential in leadership and life I’m your host Adam Hill and it is my goal to share with you the human side of high performance my guests share their experience with fear anxiety struggle Challenge and most importantly despite all of it how they
(01:19) Rose above it to achieve incredible results so if you’re ready to rise up let’s get started hey everyone welcome to flow over fear and today is a great show uh because we’re going to talk about a lot about imposter syndrome and I know that’s something that we all deal with you know with especially for top performers I mean uh imposter syndrome and you know self-doubt those kinds of things and all these negative thoughts that clutter our minds it can be uh especially debilitating so that’s where my guest
(01:53) today comes in John malura is a professional speaker a keynote speaker who went from being a literal rocket scientist to a multi-award-winning luxury portrait photographer and we’re going to dig in deep to that because that’s a big contrast his unique career path provided life experiences that most only dream of uh John spent many decades leading a variety of teams some that landed missions on Mars and he now provides world-class portraits and photographs that have been featured by national geography graphic multiple
(02:29) Fortune 500 companies and some of the biggest names in music and today John educates and empowers his audiences his keynote audiences during his Keynotes on unmasking imposter syndrome and believing that positive change is possible as a keynote Speaker John specializes in connecting with audience members who are accustomed to performing at Elite levels and John also incorporates research with stories from his own life to give you the tools to break out of the prison of your limiting beliefs and begin living life as your
(03:03) truest and most contented self John thanks for joining us today yeah man thanks for uh thanks for reading that that intro just like we’ve put together yeah yeah absolutely no yeah I didn’t do that on the Fly did I at all no it’s uh you know it’s interesting a lot of people can uh you know they use that that typical saying where you know if they if they want to tell you know tell someone they’re they’re you know not smart enough or something like that they’ll say I’m not a brain surgeon or I’m not a rocket
(03:36) scientist you can’t use that excuse how has that affected you no I’m just kidding well well I get to actually say you know I can say look this isn’t rocket science and I can actually say that with authority right people make it too complicated like this isn’t rocket science I’ve seen that there’s lots of letters in that math absolutely yeah you have that you have that credibility well that’s right well rest assured we won’t be digging deep on rocket science today because I’m not a rocket scientist and
(04:02) uh yeah nor am I brain surgeon but uh but yeah your story is fascinating and I can’t wait to begin because it you know that that contrast between you know being in a rocket scientist for NASA and working that environment uh missions to Mars and those kinds of things huge contrast to being a portrait photographer so you know we’ll kind of get into that contrast but I’m always interested in origin stories and I really want to hear about your origin story how you how you came to become a NASA scientist and and where where that
(04:33) desire came from yeah so as a child of the you know late 70s and early 80s I of course you know had Oodles of Star Wars stuff on my wall and you know all the the Millennium Falcon you know all the things you know that went along with Star Wars so I was you know that’s just the world I grew up in you know thinking about far-fetched far-reaching places and I truthfully don’t know how I ended up in mechanical engineering at Penn State University in the 90s I’m pretty sure guidance counselor probably told me I’d
(05:09) be good at it and um a recurring theme of my life until recently as I just always jokingly say I just kind of force gumpt my way through just kind of fell into you know various situations um and I I the way I ended up working in that industry was it actually you know the the lowly creature of a mouse actually has a big influence on my life with the first being when I was a junior in college I was one of the finalists to get a very coveted spot as an intern at Walt Disney with election years like the people that like
(05:53) create the things you know oh yeah and you know it came down to me and one other person and because they were a semester ahead of me because I’d taken some time off to do a co-op I lost the position and I was you know I I was crestfalled when I got that call and this is you know this is 1999 so you know the phone was still you know I had to hang it up on the wall you know where I lived and one of the guys that I lived with walked in right after I hung up the phone I just sat down on the couch and I was just defeated man
(06:26) and uh my buddy Bill said hey dude you’re all right I’m like no I’m like I just lost the only thing I thought I was going to be doing this summer he said well you’re outdoorsy you’re active he’s like you wanna you wanna work at a Boy Scout camp like as a director and I’m like I don’t I was not a Boy Scout I didn’t wear the goofy shorts or anything like that or single campfire songs and I said I don’t you know you know I don’t really know much and he goes well we’ll we’ll
(06:53) send you to training no problem and I was supposed to be director of water sports yeah so I had these visions of you know driving a speed boat and helping people learn how to water ski and oh yeah they watch all day yeah right yeah running in slow motion oh yeah and but that training was until June and college got out in May and so the first you know influence of my life that had to do with the mouse was Mickey Mouse rejecting me and I go to work at this uh Boy Scout camp it was I forget it it was like almost 20 000 Acres up in the Catskills
(07:33) like of New York and it was beautiful giant sprawling complex and and the interim between when all the scouts showed up and when I got there at the beginning of may they said you can work with the the maintenance crew and I’m like all right that’s cool so the second part where a mouse comes in to play was my job being the unskilled labor you know I just have to schlep all the tools for all the guys throughout the woods because I would get the really unglamorous jobs with the least glamorous being pulling dead mice out of toilets that
(08:10) had fallen in during the winter when Camp was shut down oh geez I had a checklist of all these cottages and buildings I had to go and pull like dead mice out of toilets well you know that that must have been at least some kind of poetic justice after being rejected by the first Mouse right I don’t know I feel like it got revenge I mean yeah it wasn’t pretty so I’m like well you know just just had the uh those those Baywatch Visions those Hasselhoff visions of all right well I’m gonna get to drive speed boat
(08:39) and do all this stuff sure enough they come up to me and say hey the person that did the job last year you’re supposed to do they’re coming back so it doesn’t make sense to train you so here I am again I’m like they’re like but hey the maintenance crew is really impressed with your work ethic um so you’re welcome to stay on with them I’m like craps for the next two months right and they said or you could you could be director of rock climbing and I’m like I’ll take it yeah at the time like when
(09:07) they came up and pitched this to me I was like scrubbing rust off like propane tanks sure that was my job like for that that afternoon I’m like I’ll do it anything anything but whatever I’m doing now yeah so they sent me to training learned how to rock climb you know ran a staff you know safely had like you know hundreds of kids repel throughout the summer so I put that on my resume when I graduated and I was interviewing for a company um that was a NASA subcontractor for like a program manager position I I was
(09:39) coming out College I didn’t know what program management was knowing what I know now I probably would have lasted about two months in that because I would have been a horrible fit yeah but they saw in my resume what’s this rock climbing you know because I had all the all the co-ops and internships with engineering firms are like why is this like top of the line like well yeah I thought she had leadership I explained what I did and they go hang on there’s someone we want you to talk to and the phone went like on mute and I’m
(10:04) like just kind of sitting there like yeah now what and this dude got on the phone didn’t introduce himself at all real nasally voice goes hey what do you think about rock climbing on Mars and me being just a you know prolific smart ass said or well are you gonna pay the airfare and as I said that I’m like oh my God I just blew this interview and this dude this Phantom voice on the other end of the phone goes get him down here and like they said all right skip wants to see you yeah here’s when you
(10:38) can come down I’m like what just happened so for all those listening smart ass humor would open a lot of doors for you so oh yeah it’ll also slam them shut pretty quick too I got a lot of data on that I’m sure that time it worked out um so yes I came down and interviewed with this guy who you know hopped on the phone turns out he was the lead test engineer for the landing systems for the NASA Pathfinder Mars mission and then this was 2000 so the mer exploration missions that land in 2003. wow and what
(11:14) caught his eyes was the fact that I had you know moderate book smarts you know I met my goal I graduate over a 3.0 in engineering which was a huge feat because I’m not not real book smart it was a lot of work for me but he saw that I not only had an you know enough book smarts but I had some practical skills too because his background was um he was a special forces operator in Vietnam oh wow and went on to do testing and survival skills training for the military for decades after um his time in Special Forces
(11:51) and so he and I hit it off like a ball of fire and that’s how I ended up in the test engineer position I did and it was it was a great gig for I worked there for a little over 15 years wow so uh so yeah and that that’s and that’s such a fascinating transition I mean it goes to show I think that sometimes we don’t we can’t anticipate what’s going to lead us to those those directions rock climbing LED you to Mars missions which is which is just fascinating um and so in those 15 years I mean you
(12:23) you you’re kind of getting everybody’s dream job at that point you know you’re you’re doing all these missions and all of that kind of stuff how did that unfold for you were you were you enjoying it was it something that you that you found fulfilling uh early on did how did that develop it um it was very you know we were obviously very Mission oriented and what was great was it was it was a pass fail kind of thing you know which I was feels easier to either works or it doesn’t and I was able to work with some extremely
(12:59) amazing people um from whatever whatever we’re doing whether we are in Antarctica or you know Sandusky Ohio in February like I just I was just always blessed to work with these amazing people um but during the time I went through a lot of personal um transitions um that really changed my outlook on things because I was never even though I had this dream job on paper I I was never really fulfilled I never really believed I had What it Took um I can remember I got a letter of commendation from the Department of
(13:37) Defense for something that you know I was one of the leads on and I remember when they gave me the letter of commendation I was almost in tears when I was on stage because not because I was so proud or I was nervous being in front of people I was I just had this belief that they were going to go to hand me the thing and be like psych we actually know you’re not as good as this paper says you are yeah you know I had to you know we’d done the thing like the thing was out in the Pacific Ocean doing what it was intended
(14:10) to do but I just had this core belief that I wasn’t good enough and I really carried that with me and I didn’t I didn’t know what imposter syndrome was probably another decade after that but I just had that I I had this like you said dream job but it really didn’t fulfill me which is why after I you know gone through so much of the self work and and really finding my own path why I have such a heart to help people you know it’s it’s like Rory Vaden uh the author take the stairs always says you know you’re best suited
(14:44) to serve the person you used to be absolutely and that’s that’s that’s where this this kind of mission in this heart has come from for what I’m doing now yeah so when you when you talk about being unfulfilled in that in that dream job and this imposter syndrome that you’re feeling is there any kind of correlation there is there is there is it was the lack of fulfillment led by the feeling of imposter syndrome The Impossible imposter syndrome was was a byproduct of you know various things that and that’s
(15:16) what I talk about a lot a lot of my my imposter syndrome talking is educating people on it because a lot of people don’t even know what it is but like you said they’ve experienced it so you know there are so many reasons why imposter syndrome can show up but the unfulfillment um was just I just had this core belief that I was Unworthy of the accolades of the of of Love of admiration um for instance like if you would have read that bio of me like eight years ago like I probably would have like you know just slunked down and been like oh man I
(15:57) feel so embarrassed to hear all that whereas now it like energizes me to be like that’s right yeah I I did that stuff and on days when I’m not feeling up for it you know I can look back on things like that um and just realize you know what I have accomplished and that I can you know I can do the hard things yeah so that I know we’re going to jump ahead a bit here but what was the switch that flipped or I mean it probably wasn’t a switch but more of a a ongoing process but what what changed in order for you
(16:32) to see that differently it was it it was a there was a switch of a traumatic event of uh losing my best childhood friend to suicide in 2009. um and it was it was right after our first child had been born I was already having so much self-doubt and I hit rock bottom after he uh passed away like I I I was still you know in the engineering job you know becoming like one of the leaders I’d been there for almost a decade at this point um and it just rocked my world because he was not only a friend but he was a year
(17:15) ahead of me so I I looked up to him like a big brother too and when that got added on to the anxiety and and just uncertainty that I felt being a new father um I I I ended up in a really just bad headspace I was just in this proverbial you know fog like I just couldn’t focus couldn’t do things in it went on for months and I remember that one morning before work I’m like I don’t I don’t know how much longer I can continue like operating like this like what what’s something’s got to change in
(17:54) my normal coping strategies which were not healthy by the way um of you know just doing more work you know getting more accolades being um much defending myself verbally like I used to you know feel like a veteran be an like I was if I ever felt someone was challenging me or like anything like even if they were just giving feedback I would use my you know my the empathy that I naturally have instead of for good I would use that to like really just dig a knife into someone to shut them down because I was so terrified of people finding out I wasn’t
(18:35) perfect so I built this veneer of perfection up so um yeah I and as you can imagine like treating people like that and working harder or you know with all this other turmoil going on is like a recipe for disaster so I just remember thinking right before I got on the show I’m like I don’t know what to do yeah um so I you know I did the uh last Refuge of a scoundrel so I like to say I said a prayer and up to this point I had actively shunned religion um based on experiences I had and things I observed you know um going to Catholic
(19:15) school I wanted nothing to do with religion but I’m like I’m I’m at the end of my rope here like I don’t know what else to do yeah so I you know asked for strength courage and wisdom and like at that moment like I felt like a warm sensation come over me and I’m like I’ve either just lost my mind or maybe there’s something to this God thing and that day in 2009 was when my heart just changed and I did a lot of self-reflection like why was I treating people like this you know the just
(19:50) self-awareness really developed and I really worked on using the logical side of my brain you know as a test engineer so it is a very data driven thing like I said it’s pass or fail like what what worked what didn’t work right and I started just collecting data on myself like okay I just lashed out at that person in the meeting I don’t want to be like that anymore why did I do that and I started doing the self work and you know counseling and things like that to turn turn my life around a complete 180.
(20:25) so you’re doing so you’re doing uh therapy with with other with a therapist and that kind of thing as well yeah I’ve done I’ve done therapy before um all this happened and I done a lot of you know unpacking but it it and it helped me understand kind of the the reason why I was so anxious and depressed but um I really just kind of leaned into my faith and and just started changing the way I showed up in the world and the relationships that then entered my life because I was allowing them to and I
(20:57) wasn’t pushing people away really really helped Foster you know the the change of heart and you know that that’s kind of what has eventually led me down the path of you know figuring out like what imposter syndrome is and things like that and how it was affecting me and now how I could you know how I could turn that volume down of it and now paying that forward to other people yeah well it’s interesting yeah that you’re mentioning the you know saying of a prayer and leading into faith when that wasn’t you know you know
(21:28) when that wasn’t something that you’d done previously and and on this show we’re you know this is this was never meant to be a a god-centered kind of show but what I’ve discovered through all these interviews is that within everybody that’s had these Transformations you know higher power God faith it’s somewhere in there which is which is pretty powerful it’s one of the powerful uh parts of that uh so so that that changes that is that still something that you lean into oh absolutely
(21:58) um I I lean into you know Christianity and from the point of view of you know I I always joke with people when people like kind of were like uh like Christians are just you know a bunch of Hypocrites I said yeah I don’t I don’t know what version of the Bible other people listen to but my Jesus isn’t an it treats everyone with love and compassion regardless or actually especially people that aren’t quote unquote perfect so that’s really the way I approach things is just trying to you know show love and compassion to
(22:36) everyone regardless of what their beliefs are because no one’s perfect absolutely yeah and that’s that’s that’s absolutely true I mean um and uh and you know you went from this this Persona of perfection that you said you know that you were trying to put this Venere of perfection on to now you know accepting that nobody’s perfect and so did that change come with faith or did it come through some kind of process or how uh how did you reconcile that all circles back to self-awareness um you know I just always believe that if I
(23:18) were anything less imperfect everything would fall apart people would leave me yeah and once I started taking a step back you know where’s the truth in that and it’s like no you make mistakes all the time and you know your friends your family haven’t walked away from you you know it’s so it’s that self-awareness of of looking at things and then you know going back to what what uh the guy skip who hired me you know who I asked if he was bringing for a plane trip ticket to Mars um he would always say you know what’s
(23:52) what’s the day to say yeah he called me Molly Molly what’s the day to say one good test was worth a thousand opinions what’s the day to say oh everybody needs a boss like that yeah yeah he’s no longer with us but uh he’ll never leave me that’s for sure that’s great so so the date so basically data driven self-awareness you’re you’re looking for the data on yourself and the question you’re asking to get that data is is where is the truth you know where where you know how am I participating in
(24:27) this and that kind of thing um so yeah so so that led you kind of down the path of underst of recognizing well I mean you so you you you we’re kind of feeling this lack of fulfillment in that job anxiety depression all that kind of stuff now what led you to the path of Photography and how did that transformation happen or how did that switch happen yeah well it certainly wasn’t a switch um I it goes back to it I think when I was like seven years old and I wanted like a gerbil or a hamster for my birthday and my mom and her you know
(25:05) infinite wisdom’s like no no for that so she’s to this day she doesn’t know why but she got me a camera like an old school little like Kodak pushed the thumb thing and it Advanced the film camera yeah um and she got it for me when I was like seven I just fell in love with it and just continued that is a hobby all my life and when they would send me to these you know work trips where I’d be gone for weeks at a time you know I had an all-expense paid trip to you know Antarctica or the Mojave Desert I’d
(25:38) throw my camera in my bag and because I I started doing landscape photography and you know I had some success with that and and you know selling some artwork and at the time I was I was you know really doing all this the self-development and you know making this 180 swing in my life at the same time the company that I was working for um they Venture capitalists that owned them started changing the direction of the company and like all these things started changing at once and looking back on it I’m like okay this all makes
(26:15) perfect sense but like in the middle of it’s like what is happening like everything like I I’m I’m a different person the company I’m working for is you know different like it’s not jiving anymore now now what yeah and you know so I started taking the photography more seriously you know got a business license when people wanted to give me money to do it which you know gobsmacked me um and I left that company after almost 16 years of being with them and doing what any you know what I felt any responsible father of three young
(26:49) kids would do I went and took another engineering position where I made even more money and uh was even less fulfilled and miserable there yeah um not because of the people but it just wasn’t it just wasn’t satisfying my soul and it was a day uh you know probably pretty close to like right around this time of year where I’m I’m in coastal Delaware and it gets pretty nasty here in the winter it’s like 35 degrees in Rain yeah I remember man the rain was like coming down the back of my jacket I was like
(27:23) all hunkered in walking into work one day and I thought thank God I’m getting paid so much money to be this miserable yeah and it like it it made it was like a wake-up call like when I said there’s words in my head it’s like what are you doing dude like what would I tell my friends or more importantly like my kids if they came and said they were this like unhappy you know throughout their day yeah um so you know I told my wife and she’s like you should do your photography full time and like I was gobsmacked when she said
(27:55) that because my wife is like like the planner you know every every like she has a plan for everything and I’m much more like you know she’s the person that’s like okay we’re going to the airport I got the tickets printed I got the rental car reserved here’s our itinerary for the vacation I’m like cool where are we going so to have my wife say like we should just do your photography I’m like are you out of your mind you know I had all these what the author John Acuff calls uh Noble obstacles and
(28:26) um you know all these reasons why I couldn’t do it she’s like John if it doesn’t work out just you know go back to a work a day job yeah and that was uh on April 7th that’ll be six years ago and haven’t haven’t uh gone back and it’s it’s wild the way things work because a couple years ago program I worked on uh for Homeland Security got reactivated and they hired me then as a consultant to do engineering so my full-time job which used to be my side hustle of Photography it’s not my full-time job and my side
(28:59) hustle for a while was engineering so it was like I told my kids I’m like that’s the importance of like treating people with respect even on the way out the door like because you know if I had you know peeled out of the parking lot with my middle finger out of the sunroof you know blasting Kid Rock doing donuts in the parking lot that probably would not have been the reality but you know I just said yeah it’s just not working out and you know we went our separate ways so it’s it’s wild how things work yeah yeah
(29:26) it goes to show you definitely don’t don’t uh blast Kid Rock in any situation really but yeah especially that’s a good call haha yeah I bet could you could you describe what what Noble obstacles are yeah that’s the first time I’ve heard that phrase oh really yeah I’d love to love to kind of know more about how oh absolutely yeah that’s that’s a phrase coined by uh uh like I said John Acuff he’s actually uh one of Rory vaden’s buddy which is how we came together through Rory’s group right
(29:57) um and what John describes as Noble obstacles are those things that on the surface seem like a great reason not to do something case in point like I’m I’m making six figures as an engineer you know high level engineer um and I have a wife and three kids so I need to I need to make enough money to you know to so we don’t lose our house and lose you know the kids aren’t going to school in burlap bags and things like that right when the reality is I you can make money being a photographer you can make very good
(30:38) money being a photographer but I I was letting that that Noble obstacle that thing that people really wouldn’t challenge you know because it was such a noble thing well he’s he’s providing for his family so he’s sticking with this job um that’s what a noble obstacle is just yeah it’s basically an excuse that sounds like you’re a really good solid person for taking that path but really it’s like uh let’s let’s let’s let’s let’s actually see if that’s BS or not yeah
(31:11) now that’s helpful I’m glad you kind of described I’m glad you described that because it’s so helpful to put a name to things like that absolutely yeah I mean just to just to name it it’s just like oh yeah that’s a thing and that’s what I’m doing you know maybe uh maybe I should look at that more closely because I’m unfulfilled yeah that’s that’s important so so first you know so obviously you you left the engineering world you entered the photography world and immediately everything worked out
(31:37) perfectly right is that how it went oh yeah yeah there were no there were no afternoons I spent curled up you know five feet from them we’re not sure now in my home office crying yeah that that never happened awesome well thanks for joining us everybody that’s everybody yeah entrepreneurships no problem at all right yeah that couldn’t be further for me foreign yeah so how did it go it so I mean it it’s going well and it it’s it’s a continual exercise and Agility it’s a great way to
(32:09) describe it um and again that self-awareness is so key because when I started um doing photography full-time I did a lot of commercial stuff commercial photo shoots because I I had a business background and you know the the Fortune 500 companies that would hire me loved it because you know let’s face it artists A lot of times aren’t known for their attention to detail right and my my previous career as a test engineer like we lived in you know we lived by checklists because you could live or die with some of the things we could get
(32:49) into perilous situations if you didn’t connect a red wire you know before the blue wire like sure so if I’ve ever learned anything from die hard yeah that’s the truth that and wear shoes right watch out for the glass um anyway um before we fall down whether that’s a holiday movie or not I’ll buy grass I don’t want to polarizer audience everyone yeah Paul we’ll do a poll in the in the yeah right I’ll generate some comments um but yeah so so I would do these commercial shoots and I was used to doing
(33:27) checklists so the commercial clients loved it because like I would just knock out all the stuff and they’d be like wow this is this is great a photographer actually can follow directions and then as I would do that I um I became more and more comfortable with myself and I never wanted to photograph people and what I came to realize it was because I didn’t have the confidence yet to look foolish in front of people you know again circling back to this Vernier veneer of perfection and once I got past that fear of like saying like all right
(34:05) do this pose now that didn’t work out we’re gonna do something else it it just like unlock this whole other side of creativity and purpose that I didn’t know was even an option for me because I mentioned I have you know extreme amounts of empathy and I would use that you know you know as a for the forces of evil as I you know used to say yeah but once I turn that empathy around and could really create these connections with people and help people feel safe I started realizing how powerful portraits were to creative people
(34:43) because like I said like when I you know I’ll like look at my bio if I’m like not feeling up to something I’d be like okay that’s right I got this well something even more powerful than looking at like your own like biography is looking at a like a like a badass picture of yourself it doesn’t have to be done by a professional person but like everyone listening like you know you of course knows what you know what it feels like when you see a picture that you don’t like yourself it’s easy to start the
(35:08) negative self-talk but everyone’s at least probably seen one picture themselves they’re like wow that that that I look awesome there yeah so that’s how I approach my portrait photography which is now what I solely do is portrait photography um because I want people to have these tangible evident this tangible evidence of how awesome they are um so like I do print products now yeah um so people can actually like look at themselves and people are like that’s weird I don’t know about having to
(35:41) picture myself it’s like well you don’t have to have it hanging in your foyer put it like where you get changed and if it’s a picture it makes you feel like Wonder Woman when you look at it you’re gonna be thankful you had that on those days where you wake up and you’re like I don’t I don’t know yeah um so so that’s that’s how I approach the photography aspect which fits greatly with like the Imposter syndrome Keynotes is because I want people to feel you know I don’t want
(36:06) people to feel worth less I want to realize they’re worth more than they than they even realize and I want to give people the skills and proof of that of how worthy they are of love and respect and all the good things life can give them yeah that’s that’s that’s such a powerful method of uh in a purpose for that that Medium of Photography because you know when we talked before you mentioned a crazy statistic that something I think is something like 90 of people just don’t like getting their picture taken
(36:38) it’s probably like closer to 99.99 yeah it’s like other than a dentist I can’t think of another occupation other than a photographer where people are like hey I’m gonna hire you and I’m gonna give you not an insignificant amount of money yeah but I hate this yeah so so I’ve I’ve structured my business through um you know having some wonderful coaches enter my life where we remove the stress people have those normal sticking points so it I help them pick their clothes out two weeks before the photo shoot whether
(37:12) I go to their home and and help them because some things don’t translate well onto camera and there are some tricks of the trade that I want to help people with because their first question is always like well what do I wear I’m like all right well cool we’re going to figure this out and a lot of people are like oh great I just have an excuse to go get some new clothes after you know we go through their wardrobe right um but then even on the day of the shoot I always offer professional hair and makeup on location so they don’t have to
(37:38) worry if the wind’s blowing or if it’s a you know hot day outside and their makeup’s running and actually men like dudes like you and me are the ones who actually love that pampering the most because I don’t know about you but like my skin never really gets very much TLC right definitely not so like you know getting their eyebrows under control or um the the Kelly my hair and makeup artist I partner with like she calls the clients and like all right well tell me about your skin and there’s one guy that
(38:11) got head shots he’s like he’s like I don’t know about all this and then she said well tell me about your skin you like your skin he’s like I don’t know I’m a guy and she said you have any dry patches he’s like well I’ve always had this red splotchy stuff and my Skin’s always dry here but oily here she’s like okay well I’m gonna develop a regimen for you and like he fell in love with it like with like cream he’s like this is the greatest thing ever um so and then during the shoot you know
(38:37) because I would say the number one question I get being a photographer is what do I wear yeah number two question is what do I do with my hands during the shoot like what yeah like so you know I’ve had training on that yeah so I guide them you know I guide them verbally like what to do and then after the shoot I help them review what images they want and which ones work you know for what for different reasons because you know there’s nothing worse than getting like a gallery of like 90 pictures and you’re just staring at
(39:06) yourself it’s like well I don’t well now what do I do so I guide them through that and then um we put together albums for them if they want like a like a album yeah because it’s not just like we send them the digitals and say all right well good luck creating your albums learning new software like my wife does all the graphic design and lays them out in these heirloom quality albums or they get wall art printed like Big Frame prints I get that all printed framed for them and I even go to their home and hang it so that’s
(39:35) incredible it’s like all the like touch points where people have these like pain or like things get stuck like worked really hard to remove those or mitigate them as much as possible yeah that’s that’s incredible because I mean you’re you’re turning this thing that just seems like an inconvenience or something that has to be done something that people don’t like into a personal development session yeah I mean you’re turning it into something that that can transform people and the way people look
(40:04) at themselves that’s so powerful um and uh and and and it’s so it’s you know something that that that’s being used typically for external purposes like well I need to get a picture taken because you know I need it for my for for whatever it might be for for my business purposes or whatever it may be to internal purposes like I’m gonna hang this in my closet I’m gonna look at every day and I’m gonna feel that person that that I I become that’s uh that’s huge what what kind of and and what kind
(40:35) of response are you getting to that people love it um you know the first thing I always do is make sure to have a con you know complimentary consult call with people which you can schedule right on my my website meloraphoto.com um and just talk to them about what they’re looking for and truthfully what what I do mostly is I listen to them I’ll give them some prompts and uh you know the rule my coach Megan always said was you know listen you know you talk 30 you let them talk the 70 yeah listen and let them tell you and people just
(41:12) on just share so much and then during the photo shoot it’s such a there’s such a connection there and such a trust and um you know helping them feel safe to explore the get that experience it’s almost like a mini therapy session people just like will just just share so much and it’s really cool to walk with people through that that’s great and um what have you and and so so that kind of transitioning to the Imposter syndrome and what you’ve learned about that and you know what you’ve learned from yourself and from
(41:48) these experiences and sharing time with with people when they’re most vulnerable um you’re you know you’re developing a keynote on imposter syndrome or you’ve developed one and you’re doing that uh What uh what what kind of advice are you would you give to people who are experiencing that imposter syndrome yeah if there’s if there’s one thing I want people to to leave with that I want them to remember is that fear hates facts like imposter syndrome or any kind of negative emotion
(42:25) is especially if it’s fear-based you know fear will will shrivel up and and die when you shine like some facts on it and yeah so just remember fear hates facts like okay I’m I’m not feeling up for this why like what’s what’s going on what what’s what’s the what’s the data what’s the truth that supports this fear and I bet nine times out of ten or probably closer to ten times out of 10 there won’t be any facts supporting the fear but what I can guarantee people have is a boatload of
(43:01) facts supporting that they actually are capable or are worthy so yeah I want people to remember that fear hates facts and get what the facts and Truth are do you have a uh a method or some kind of technique to get to the facts like what what uh what kind of questions should people be asking on that front yeah one of the things I always suggest that people do is that to write down things that they’ve accomplished or they’re proud of and the crazy thing about fear you know fear fear is you know likes to give sucker
(43:36) punches and one of the ways it does that is it doesn’t play by the same rules of the space-time continuum sure it’ll it’ll cause fear based on something that happened decades ago so because fear doesn’t Fight Fair I encourage people to also not fight fair and do their own guerrilla warfare against fear so write down things that that you’re proud of that you’ve accomplished whether it’s something that you did this morning it made a great omelet or if it’s you won the the pinewood derby when you were a
(44:09) eight-year-old Cub Scout like write that stuff down and once you get rolling on it like it’s actually fun and that’s something again that’s something you can look back on to say oh I you this is something I’d done like here here’s a great for instance you know it’s a show that I practice what I preach you know John Acuff the author I mentioned with the noble obstacles um challenged a group that I’m in that he runs to write 30 things he calls it your awesome list like write down 30
(44:38) things that you’re proud of yeah and here’s my you know here’s my 30 things and then here’s the 60 things and here’s the 90 things and like it just kept going yeah it was it got to be like a lot of fun and I put that together about a month ago that’s so cool and even if I don’t like physically look at it I know it’s there in my notebook and it will jog things in my memory so I always encourage people just to write it down note in your phone a hard copy old school like me um but yeah just write down just things
(45:12) that you’ve accomplished yeah and it sounds like that’s a great way to get into flow because those 30 things that you started writing down I would imagine it was probably difficult for like the first five but then it might have just started kind of going going yeah so when you felt like a total tool during the first couple like come on uh I hate saying good things about myself and it’s like what yeah you know again then it comes back to the self-awareness like dude just do the thing over it yourself yeah thank
(45:41) you yeah that’s awesome so uh uh yeah and and so any any other kind of wise words on imposter syndrome or or you know developing that um developing the person we want to be or you know what uh what would you say to somebody who’s experiencing that you know right now in their job or or having that experience of like I’m not fulfilled and I want to leave but I feel like I can’t yeah the first thing I want to do is celebrate them for recognizing that because one of the things that that I talked about that was so instrumental
(46:15) in turning my life and my way of being around was being self-aware so if you’re if you’re even admitting it for the first time right now after you know you just heard Adam say that that you know I’m not really fulfilled you know I want to celebrate that and then dig into that and you know what are some things maybe that make me unfulfilled spin it the positive way what are things that light me up what do I like to do what are things accomplishments I’ve made and recognize that it takes a lot of Grace
(46:50) to do this work with yourself um and I can pretty much guarantee that people are listening to a podcast like this they probably treat people pretty well and I always encourage people to say be as gentle with yourself and kind with yourself as you are with other people yeah and recognize that this is a process it’s not like they’re going to write down you know 30 things that they did great and they’re gonna be like oh well imposter syndrome’s gone like that’s not what this is It’s all about
(47:21) turning down the volume of that negative voice and reducing the number of occurrences and then being able to kind of anticipate when it comes back up that’s great advice yeah and and something that comes up pretty frequently is is give yourself Grace be gentle on yourself um and um and yeah this was great there’s so many so many great nuggets in here that I think people can get from imposter syndrome and I know you’re doing more Keynotes on that on that subject more keynote and you know on positive change and how we could change
(47:55) ourselves um where can people find you and and get in touch and find out more yeah yeah so I mentioned my photography website which is meloraphoto.com and whether you remember that or you remember the website for my public speaking which is just johnmalora.com um they link to each other so if you wind up in one place and you wind up on the photo site and you say oh I wanted to see the keynote click the tap at the top and it’ll jump you right over to there and you know I do in person speaking you know workshops or virtual
(48:28) stuff you know through the miracle technology that we have now yeah um so I’m always just happy to you know like I said do complimentary consult calls whether it’s speaking or photography which they can schedule right right on either website that’s awesome well you’ve got so many so much knowledge to share and so much wisdom and experience and I’m grateful that you shared it here and and thank you for for sharing this and please please uh get in touch with with John reach out and uh um and I’m
(48:58) excited to see where you go man because this is this is exciting stuff and I know that a lot of people are going to be helped by your message so thank you for thank you for joining us today John oh no problem thanks for helping me spread the word brother absolutely and thank you all for joining in and tuning in today and we’ll see you next time thanks hey everyone Thanks for tuning in to the flow over fear podcast if you’d like to learn more about getting into flow and learn the foundations of flow I
(49:24) have a free video series on my website www.adamcliffordill.com called the foundations of flow feel free to go there and download it and start your journey to Rising above fear and achieving greater flow in your life if you like this episode and I’m guessing you did if you stuck around for this long then please do me a favor and hit the Subscribe button and you will receive notifications when I have new interviews new Recaps and new trainings that pop up on YouTube thanks again for joining us [Music] thank you