How to Live A Life of Purpose Through Service with Andrew Anderson

How to Find Your Purpose Through Service with Andrew Anderson – YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv09sbQHxkk

Transcript:
(00:00) the word courage comes from the French word Cur and ker means heart and courage is found when we are leaning into the things that our heart is calling us toward Never Letting our mind talk us out of something that our heart knows to be true and when our heart is all in on something and we are 100 committed with full conviction then it doesn’t matter what’s happening around us in fact these things aren’t happening to us anymore they are happening for us and they are strengthening our courage just like that Oak and those winds are
(00:37) building a stress wood that wouldn’t be possible without the turbulence in fact if a tree doesn’t have wind it will die and if a person doesn’t have opposition it will also sit around in a lazy way and just die on the couch and so that courage is about heart it’s about conviction and commitment and knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing hello everyone and welcome to the flow over fear podcast where it is our mission to help you to rise above fear and realize your ultimate potential in
(01:12) leadership and life I’m your host Adam Hill and it is my goal to share with you the human side of high performance my guests share their experience with fear anxiety struggle Challenge and most importantly despite all of it how they Rose above it to achieve incredible results so if you’re ready to rise up let’s get started hey everyone welcome to flowover fear thank you for being here I have a great guest today and I want to start by uh with a little bit of a declaration that came right from my guests bio at the end
(01:49) of the day know this Andrew Anderson will take a stand for your greatness more than you will stand for your own limitations I thought that was really really powerful because everybody yearns to have at least one person in their life who believes in them and they can do what they say that they can do who believes that they can be the person that they want to be and Andrew is that person Andrew Anderson is a number one international best-selling author a speaker a coach helping individuals to break through their limiting beliefs
(02:21) transform their lives and businesses and find lasting Freedom with a background in education and Mission work Andrew has taken his years of experience as a teacher expert and NLP Master practitioner to help hundreds of people break through their limiting beliefs and become the people that they desire to be he’s a husband and a father of six children six children sevens upon seven we had until another in the last five weeks Adam wow that’s incredible congratulations um man we’re gonna have to dig into that
(02:53) that’s probably a podcast in and of itself by the way back later I’m trying to throw that wrench in but we got to let people know that there are seven kids in my household that’s incredible well yeah we’re gonna dig in a little bit to that because there’s a lot of a lot of fear and and flow around that that’s right but um uh yeah your best his best-selling book strength of the oak strength of the willow how to find courage and compassion in a turbulent world can be found wherever books are
(03:18) sold uh Andrew thank you so so much for being here I’m excited about this conversation you’re welcome has anyone ever thrown off your introduction like I did today no it’s all right it’s all good because it just gets all monotone I just get into my own head so anytime you speak in there it’s like oh yeah yeah conversation time so I appreciate it hopefully we can interrupt pattern what people are doing today and give them something new that that they’re looking for that’s a well that’s a great segue
(03:43) into into something I did want to talk about because you’re an NLP Master practitioner which is pretty cool I know Tony Robbins is into that stuff and there’s a it’s it’s a pretty powerful thing and breaking a pattern is is part of it um can you kind of uh let people know what that is and and how that might help people in terms of becoming their best self yeah I mean you we drive home the same way every single day we brush our teeth the same way every single day I’d love to ask my clients which way do you
(04:12) put your belt on they don’t even think about it it’s a fun thing to consider you don’t even know Adam do you is it no I have no clue we get in these patterns and they’re not just behavioral patterns they’re thought patterns they’re belief patterns their emotional patterns and what we all need if we want true Transformations we we have to interrupt that pattern so we can make new choices and you know at the essence that’s what I love to see happen for people when I get to work with them that’s fantastic
(04:42) so if you want transformation you need to interrupt the patterns of what you’re doing right now so well said uh and and so how you know going back into your history I want to kind of you know get get into younger Andrew and see what how you became the person you did uh what you know when you’re you know from your childhood or younger days what got you into wanting to help people in the way that you are yeah I I’ve got two things that I talk about my my dad when people say tell me about your dad that there’s two words
(05:12) that come to mind number one is obedience like that man when he knows something is right he will do whatever it takes to to live into that he is he he will obey whether that’s God’s word or something that he just feels convicted by like he is so obedient and the second word that I use to describe him is service here’s a fun story I’m 22 years old I am uh coming back home to see my parents while I’m at college and there’s this random stranger in the backyard doing some kind of work and I asked my mom I said who is that
(05:50) she said I don’t know I woke up and dad was at work and I called him and he found a homeless man and he’s building us a fire pit in the backyard and my dad has always been someone that is looking to serve others and finding that person in need and so I you know I’ve been blessed to have parents my mom’s that way as well just not as risky but just parents that taught me to serve and to find people that need help and then once you know like I’m cut from the same old as my dad I once I know I have
(06:22) to obey I gotta do it I can’t stand before myself or my maker and just say like no I didn’t want to I don’t have that in me so that’s true that’s kind of how I grew up yeah so that did that uh because there’s a lot of people that might think that uh even though they you might want to help somebody right there’s there’s a lot of discomfort in that there’s even this discomfort of reaching out and and asking someone if they want to build a fireplace in your backyard so there’s a
(06:46) lot of Courage that comes into that uh so so that was just developed was that just developed by watching your dad do those kinds of things and and you just kind of picked it up and how does it feel to do it now yeah so you definitely through watching and and participating right we’re on a scout outing and instead of giving the man money my dad puts him in the the minivan the Dodge Caravan puts him in the minivan we go to the grocery store you know and we’re buying this man food and so it wasn’t just watching him it
(07:17) was doing it with him and now that that I I get to do that my dad has become my biggest book fan and we were at my daughter’s track meet a week ago and he said Andrew I texted over 100 people and told them to buy your book you know it’s just my dad is he’s returning the the favor is he you know I put up with him doing crazy things when we were kids so it feels awesome it’s awesome that to be able to serve and and to carry on that Legacy that my parents you know gave to me yeah and that took you into some Mission work too you were
(07:53) in France Belgium that kind of thing uh can you tell us a little bit about that experience and how that service led to where you’re at today oh my goodness just phenomenal I mean I remember being a new Realtor about nine ten years ago and people would say is it hard to like you know talk to people and knock on doors and hold open houses and and I said no I I talked to people in French about Jesus and if you can care about someone enough to give them something that you believe will change their life everyone needs a house like whether you
(08:24) you know believe in Jesus or not I think everyone needs Jesus but everyone needs a house that’s easy it’s easy to to sell real estate so that just built an incredible foundation for me to to find other people’s needs and to come from a place of curiosity and contribution to see what I might be able to give to them that would you know help them in in their life Journey yeah so you’ve been in in real estate you’ve been in Mission uh you know mission service and things like that where you are in front of
(08:54) people and maybe even having difficult conversations or or not maybe not difficult but uh at least there’s a fear of rejection there oh yeah was that so is that something I mean was that a muscle that you had to build or were you ever feeling like there was some kind of uh uh difficulty in doing that that was the message just strong enough no I mean that fear started when I was a little boy who was holding on to baby fat up until puberty and I’m 13 years old in seventh grade and boys have girlfriends
(09:26) and I’m still chubby I played fullback if you know anything about football like this guy right here like I’m not built like a fullback I’m I’m maybe five eight and three quarters I’m like a buck 40. but as a little boy I was a full I was a chubby little boy and so I had a lot of insecurities and fears about myself and and my abilities and I was a very strong I still am introvert who has learned extroversion skills so I tricked people but I have always from from as a little boy struggled with that until I learned
(09:59) these powerful principles that I found in you know later late 20s for the last you know decade that I’ve been able to apply and now help other people with as well so for the majority of my life it was really hard yeah yeah well I can certainly relate to that introversion piece and a lot of that growing growing up I mean I had a lot of social anxiety and so there’s a lot of relatability there and that translated for me into a lot of you know this fear of rejection fear of being rejected by by others and uh and of
(10:31) course that led into adulthood where it was just like yeah getting into sales and having to knock on doors and doing those kinds of things was always scary um so how uh so you you found a number of tools that could help you through that and I guess before getting into that did that that uh you know that that insecurity that you might have had did that take you into high school college or anything like that or was it uh was there some instance that you were able to get over it well I I tell the story in the book
(11:00) about being in ninth grade uh that was high school some Junior highs go seven through nine but for me it was high school and my friends were in eighth grade still at the at the middle school and I played football and I didn’t like it I didn’t mesh like I’m a high sensitive and I didn’t mesh with like the Meat Heads and like the guys that talk dirty and just all the jokes like I just I never fit in but I was on the football team and they would all sit together at lunch and I’d have enough so
(11:31) what I would do is I would just kind of walk around pretending like I was going somewhere so you know like I was on a mission but I remember this one day going into the stall of the boys bathroom and closing that cold metal maroon door sliding that stainless steel lock into place and I remember standing up on top of the toilet not wanting anyone to see that I was in there by myself and just weeping feeling so alone feeling so you know you know just like like a region not having any friends and or anyone to to really mesh with and at 14 years old
(12:13) that is not the kind of place that you want to be as you’re growing into this adolescence and so that that was my dark night of my Teenage Soul so that that moment of kind of sitting in the in the boys bathroom and all that or those moments um how did you how are you able to was that your high school experience did you were you able to transcend that a bit or or move through it you mentioned you had some tools that you you leaned into yeah so you know we talk about this hero’s journey Joseph Campbell and this is when
(12:48) the mentors show up right this is when someone enters your life that you don’t expect and I was actually able to uh to have a great mentor that helped me identify my life mission and I’m again I can’t give away all the secrets you gotta read the book to get the full story but this is where I truly learned my my purpose in life and I felt like I actually knew why I was here on this planet and those words are the same today as they were back then 24 years ago and I recognized that my life mission is to bless my brothers and
(13:28) sisters who I believe to be God’s children to live a higher level of spiritual strength and to influence as many as possible so when you see that that book titled strength of the oak strength of the will you recognize there’s a connection with my life mission once I understood that mission it helped me began to look outside myself and to begin doing the things I’d seen my parents do and to serve and and and to find others that needed help and from that sophomore year after that freshman year from sophomore
(13:57) year through the end of high school I began to attract girls not because I was going through puberty and good looking but because I actually I just started tracking these girls that were struggling that had just stupid boyfriends that have been you know abused or just taken advantage of and made and I started to like become like this teenage boy counselor and that was really the Genesis of me uh you know living out this life mission and helping people find that spiritual strength and it continues today they’re
(14:29) not teenage girls anymore they’re they’re women and mothers and and and everyone everyone in that Spectrum that’s that’s struggling to find that needed strength yeah and what was it about this Mentor that you had what what it What attracted you to this person and how did they help you to navigate that absolutely well this is a pretty unique uh position within within the church I attend we we have the opportunity uh to to go to this this gentleman and to receive um just very clear and concise uh words
(15:04) to help guide you in your life and it’s called a blessing and you know in the Bible like there were fathers that gave blessings and all of these things and to to help you recognize and many cultures still do this today and and we do it within our church and and uh I I have that blessing typed out and written and I carry it with me to this day of these things that he was able to see in me that that I believe came from God and and really just a course in a direction a compass for my life so it was someone that uh my
(15:34) my siblings my older siblings had had trusted as well and someone that my parents had a good relationship with and so I was able to receive like personal scripture for me to live my life by that’s incredible so this this person was basically saw something in you that you didn’t see in yourself right and you were you were able to uh and that’s so powerful because I hear that a lot in our in in a lot of the interviews I do regard whether whether it’s through a mentor at a church or a mentor in a
(16:03) business or anything like that it it always comes into you know we have these communities and we find these people who have what we want and then we we uh we’re able to receive the the blessing that you got but yeah in some way that uh um that inspires us to become our best version and and that started a transformation obviously in you um and uh and so you so it kind of fast forwarding a little bit to your book because you you mentioned the strength of the oak strength of the willow what is it about the oak in the Willow in
(16:36) particular that uh that and what that’s what does that strength mean absolutely so I’ve had a lot of incredible coaches and we could call that that gentleman when I was 14 years my first real Coach I’d had athletic coaches my entire life but one of my coaches in my you know mid uh 20s said to me well those late 20s he said to me Andrew you have an oak-like strength I said I don’t know what that means and he said you know the oak is one of the longest living one of the strongest one of the hardest Woods of all you know trees and
(17:10) he said there’s this other strength inside you that sometimes you forget about and it’s the strength of the willow the oak won’t Bend and will not break in a storm and a willow will bend and it is flexible and it allows the wind to pass through and it’s graceful and it’s compassionate and it doesn’t have to work too hard and if the if branches do fall off they go right in the ground and they’re planted and can grow a new tree immediately and so he helped me identify the ability to pull out this other
(17:45) strength this complementary not competitive strength of the Willow and it wasn’t like this huge Revelation that I spent all this time writing about and thinking about it was like one conversation I was like awesome right and then the book came years later but it was it was something that he saw in me again that I was not able to see in myself well that’s that’s um I mean sometimes we hear those things when we’re when we need them most and maybe they don’t apply until later we don’t use them
(18:15) until later but uh but just single sentences sometimes can change change our lives it’s it’s pretty pretty impressed and pretty incredible um and uh so kind of tell tell us about the book a little bit so it’s called strength of the oak strength of the Willow and um and in it you do do you kind of share some stories from your own life some Parables things like that how does what is it like in there yeah well let’s start with the Genesis of of the book yeah I finished my master’s degree in education I’ve been a teacher for six
(18:49) years prior to going into real estate and then in the past nine years of coaching uh I I uh I stood in the Virgin River in Zion National Park in southern Utah have you ever been there I’ve been to Zion I don’t I’ve never been where at the Virgin River though yeah well Adam I mean this this is this is incredible if you’ve been to Zion then you you recognize that there’s something incredible about this landscape and I’d never been there before until the end of January 2020 and I’m looking up at this rocked wall
(19:26) and it’s just the most gorgeous red it unlike anything you can see anywhere in the world and it goes up for hundreds of feet and I had this moment where I was experiencing just the Majesty of this creation that you know is here in front of me and I I just felt overwhelmed by its strength and it brought a tear to my eye and I’m like I was having a moment and then the words came into my mind and Heart Andrew this is a rock imagine what will happen when you fulfill the measure of your creation imagine the experiences that people can
(20:05) have when you are doing what you are called to do and then immediately strength of the oak strength of the will came in mind and I knew I needed to write this book and I needed to share my journey and I needed to help people recognize these strengths that are within them and share my clients stories and and the principles of how we get there and so it was not like oh I want to write this book when I finish that master’s degree I said I’m never writing anything ever again I coined myself I am a non-writer I will
(20:40) speak I will teach I will train I will preach I will sell but I will not write and so it took an Act of God to get me to write the book yeah yeah and and it’s amazing when you when you say that a lot of things come to mind because you know we put ourselves in this environment and a lot of times we get we get you know dragged into the day-to-day where we just like get immersed in what we’re doing it in and where we have to be what we want to do you know where we’ve been all this kind of stuff and all these anxieties
(21:11) but you but when we put the put ourselves in this environment of beauty of Peace of like just wonder our minds just suddenly open to you know to those kinds of moments where that inspiration comes and I love that I love that it came to you while you were at such a place of majesty and um and I’m with you because I I finished College I never wanted to write again in my life either I I’m here I’m with you um so uh so yeah keep uh please uh let us know how how uh uh so once you started writing the book what what what
(21:46) was uh what did you want it to be about what did you to convey to people I had no idea and that’s what’s so awesome like and this is my this is my life I I feel convicted to do something right and I’ve got this obedient heart that my dad helped me identify and then and live into it’s like okay you gotta write this book I’m like I don’t know how to write a book and so I what I did is I just sat down in the early morning on the couch before anyone woke up at my house and I was literally just typing things that
(22:21) that were coming to me and it starts with this story of maybe nine years old and getting grounded for being the complex of a bully incident on the playground and then I likened that grounding and getting grounded to me being grounded as a 28 year old young man living in my parents basement going through a divorce having nine dollars in my bank account so what happened was I learned that just like when I’m speaking or teaching or training when I open up my mouth or open up my computer and open up that page and if I start writing and
(22:51) I have that desire and I know what I need to do then the words would come and sometimes they came easier and sometimes they came harder but I just I I knew there was a book I didn’t know what it was and I just started and in that starting and in that commitment things started to thank goodness come together and what what uh what came from it what did you uh what what is what is kind of the the broad Strokes of of the book what’s it about yeah so let’s take this analogy of an oak for a moment what is it that makes an oak so strong
(23:28) able to endure so many storms they can live for thousands of years we use them all if you look around Oak is one of the most used Woods in all of carpentry right and right the the thing that an oak tree does before anything else is it sends a Taproot down a vertical Taproot and it will go until it gets to a source of water and it won’t start growing lateral Roots until it has that Taproot connected to its source of water and so I use this analogy of my life mission that I had you know forgotten in my 20s and what it took for me to get grounded
(24:10) and to be reconnected to my source and I take the reader through a very simple exercise to identify where they’re at and maybe where they’re struggling and and how they can find that life mission to get connected and then from that life mission we have just some incredible other principles and things that you know we can talk about today or later but uh but it starts with that life mission knowing why you’re here so that you can determine where you’re going most people have no idea where they’re going because they don’t know
(24:41) why they’re here and so they’re asking the wrong question they say well uh how do I how do I do this I’m like well do you even want that and if so why most clients that come to me they don’t even know what they want so what we do is we go all the way back to that life mission before we ever determine the goals or the how to achieve those goals yeah that’s so true a lot of people don’t start with with that they there’s their surface level desires that people want like I want the car I want the money I
(25:08) want this you know but there’s not a lot of like what what is the what is the purpose exactly so how uh so what does everybody have a life mission is is there is there is there some way that people should dig into that what what um what are your thoughts on that yes everybody has a life mission and here’s how you dig into it I had the opportunity at that same event where I was in southern Utah Zion National Park it was a life transformation retreat with a good friend and mentor of mine Kevin Hall and he brought Chad hymas and
(25:43) Chad hymas is in the National speaker Association Hall of Fame he’s been dubbed one of the top 10 most influential speakers of all time and Chad Himes is a quadriplegic and I’m getting to see him in an intimate group of about 60 people normally he speaks in front of thousands he is the go-to guy for the Dallas Mavericks like if they want to bring someone in they bring in Chad hymas so Chad is in his wheelchair and he’s uh right across a six foot round table from me and he’s given this speech and can I be honest and
(26:14) vulnerable Adam I was like super leery I’m like top 10 right hall of fame like you know what is he gonna say that I haven’t already heard that was me right like very judgmental and I don’t know what in the heck he talked about for that entire speech but at one moment he looked me in the eyes and he said don’t know what your purpose and passion is go serve someone sonic boom like it felt like he had reached into my heartstrings and just tugged and it pulled at my soul in a way that I was not expecting
(26:57) and I recognized that I needed to go out and serve and in that selflessness right I think you know Jesus and other people have said if you want to find yourself Lose Yourself that’s how you find yourself because when you are doing something outside yourself you’re gonna find that passion and that purpose and the way that you were meant to serve Humanity yeah most people are looking inside but we have to go outside in nature right like I did we have to go outside of ourselves to go inside and find out where that is so my Challenge and I
(27:36) share this in the book is if you’re struggling with that life mission go serve someone and you’re going to find out exactly why you’re here and what you were meant to do and then the how always figures itself out once you got those two things yeah so that and that’s that’s powerful because uh it’s it starts with that and it’s another consistent message I hear throughout many of these interviews is that you know service is that is that is that is that lead to fulfillment and I guess the question becomes how do you
(28:11) start how do you know where to start uh you know because you know if you’re going to serve as it is it going to a soup kitchen is it inviting or or is it is it just talking to somebody who might be struggling how do we know how to start well you open your eyes and you look around and if you look wherever your app starting in your workplace starting in your family starting in your in your friend group starting in your community in your neighborhood I just have to look across the street to recognize that my daughter can go spend
(28:48) a couple afternoons a week because we homeschool our kids hanging out with our elderly neighbor who’s starting dementia and her husband is kind of getting annoyed by her and my daughter doesn’t because she thinks it’s funny so my daughter gets to go and spend you know a couple afternoons every week hanging out with you know Marianne because she loves my daughter and they do whatever they want to do together so you don’t have to go far just open your eyes and look around there are opportunities to serve
(29:17) in every situation that you’re in and it may be as simple as you recognizing that if you can just smile and forget yourself for a moment and acknowledge the humans around you without doing anything then you’re getting outside of yourself already so it doesn’t even have to be a a big thing a big Act of service to start it just it is just you know take that baby step and then that’s it and it could be a simple question at the beginning of the day whether it’s a question you know to yourself or if it’s a prayer like
(29:52) who who can I serve today and you have a thing in your brain called your Raz Ras reticular activating system and what happens with the Raz is once you plant an idea it will go to work to find an answer and to make it happen and so when you start with that intentionality in the day of who can I serve today the universe is going to send opportunity you’re going to see things that you’ve never seen before because you simply asked that question that’s powerful yeah so we um so and and what are some of the pitfalls
(30:26) that we might run into if if we’re if we’re not careful like for instance like is it our ego do we do we do we fall into the Trap of of not doing that because our ego gets in the way what what do you think some of those pitfalls might be that we need to look out for definitely and I I love talking about the ego I share some you know neat things about how we can drop that false identity that’s what ego is it’s not Letterman’s jacket I’m better than you get out of my way punk ego it’s it’s
(30:57) false identity and when you start to serve others and Get outside yourself that ego starts to die and it will throw the biggest tantrum more so than any toddler or teenager you’ve ever seen because it recognizes that you’re now living into a higher version of who you were meant to be and so you’re going to get all kinds of resistance from internal like internal resistance and you’re going to get all kinds of like thoughts that go through your mind like like who do you think you are right yeah yeah and that’s because
(31:28) that ego is dying and so yes that that resistance will come and that resistance Adam is confirmation that you are headed in the right direction if there is no resistance there’s no obstacles then you’re staying in your zone of comfort and no one including yourself is growing yeah wow that’s that’s huge so it’s it’s this this is one of the most important things I think we’ve we we can discuss here because you know the service over self or service the the idea of serving others I mean it it It ultimately it
(32:04) sounds like that is everybody’s life mission at least at the surface level we can dig deeper so if we assign anybody a mission in life it’s like okay go out and serve because once we’re serving each other you know we’re building each other up and you know we’re able to dig a little deeper and find out how how best we can do that and and yeah I can’t say how often I and frequently I hear this that that service to others helps us to become so fulfilled helps us to rise above maybe our own sadness or or
(32:34) anxieties or fears and things of like like that uh so thank you for sharing that because I think that’s hugely powerful and hugely important um yeah and it and uh as far as how it relates to courage because I know the second part of you know your book and some of your message relates to you know finding that courage what um what does that mean to you what does courage mean to you well it starts with some etymology right etymology is the study of words and I’m a word nerd I speak a few different languages and I
(33:07) just I love diving into words they carry so much meaning the word courage comes from the French word Cur means heart and courage is found when we are leaning into the things that our heart is calling us toward Never Letting our mind talk us out of something that our heart knows to be true and when our heart is all in on something and we are 100 committed with full conviction then it doesn’t matter what’s happening around us in fact these things aren’t happening to us anymore they are happening for us and
(33:44) they are strengthening our courage just like that Oak and those winds are building a stress wood that wouldn’t be possible without the turbulence in fact if a tree doesn’t have wind it will die and if a person doesn’t have opposition it will also sit around in a lazy way and just die on the couch and so that courage is about heart it’s about conviction and commitment and knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing and then there’s no question about like accountability and like do we need to
(34:14) like have a plan it’s like uh no we don’t have a plan for this new baby this new baby has to eat and all mom gets to do is feed him and that’s it like she’s all in she’s 100 committed to feeding this child and that’s all it needs and when you have that kind of commitment and conviction heart like she does with our little baby then we don’t need a plan like we’re all in let’s go to plan isn’t to have all of the other kids watch the the new baby and you guys go out and enjoy yourself
(34:43) I thought that was the point yes we’re getting there no nice I I kid I I know but that that also kind of leads into the next topic of of you know Parenthood I mean because we you know when we have little little ones you know we have uh uh little human beings running around our homes uh you know they’re developing their identities they’re developing their their world around you and it and it invokes a new level of fear in us as parents how do we manage that fear and and how how do we uh how do we effectively raise these
(35:17) kids into more courageous more service-orienting oriented adults oh man we’re gonna go deep are you ready yeah let’s do it okay so I brought three children into our marriage my wife brought two and then we we had this great idea of having one more to bring them together so now we have we have six and then someone says to us you know that child is going to be kind of like different than all the others um so we had this idea of well maybe they should have a buddy you’re not a sibling that they share the same mom and
(35:50) dad so now we have seven so child number six is named Jacob and Jacob is five years old and I wasn’t one of these parents that wanted to throw my baby into the pool and watch him swim I kind of think that those YouTube videos are cool but they’re crazy at the same time my wife has some some trauma around water and her family and somehow she decided that we should live in a home with a pool so Jacob five years old now from the time he was a baby and he could walk I would let him jump into the water go down
(36:24) for and I’d count to three one two three I’d grab them and bring him back up and we would just do that over and over and over again I told my wife listen I will if you teach them to read I’ll teach them how to do just about everything else Swim Bike like all the things that I love because she doesn’t care about those things so I there was never a thought ever a thought planted in his mind that he couldn’t and now that translates to the bike park we’re at the bike park the other day and
(36:53) he’s four five years old he’s on his tiny little bike and most kids are still on training wheels and he’s going off these huge rolling jumps and people are looking at him and I’m afraid for him because I know eventually he’s going to break an arm but he doesn’t have that thought yeah there was never the seed of Doubt planted that would create because that’s what fear is fear is an emotion that comes because hormones and chemicals that are released when the brain through your unconscious mind has that thought
(37:21) and if we can prevent the planting of the thoughts of doubts and fears into our children then they can just play all out whether it’s in a swimming pool or on the at the bike park or wherever they show up and so this kid you someday you might meet a man you’re going to say then this kid people will make fun of and he’ll get harassed as he has so much confidence and people say he’s cocky but the difference between that kid and me is he won’t be standing on the toilet seat in the bathrooms freshman year of high
(37:54) school crying because he doesn’t have the confidence and courage to stand up for what’s right so that that confidence is going to come from really that that parenting of of how of how you’re teaching how you’re teaching them to really just uh not not have that fear necessarily is that am I understanding that right I’m gonna do everything I can to not plant those fears because that’s what we do as parents we project yeah we project our own fears onto them and and then I also recognize that other people are going to
(38:29) be doing this so we don’t have 100 control because they’re around people in society in schools and teams and so then what we do is when they come to us sharing some of those doubts and concerns that they bring from others we ask this simple question and I share this in the book Adam this might change everything for your listeners and maybe you’ve heard it before maybe you haven’t the question is is that true um and and we will we will fight we will negotiate to hold on to that that false belief that fear and then the follow-up
(39:00) question is okay is it 100 true well it’s not 100 True great so if it’s not a hundred percent true then what is it yeah it’s a lie that’s such an important distinction too because you know when it comes to mindset and like mindfulness people talk about mindfulness it’s a buzzword but really what it is is you know we’re getting ourselves present we’re trying to recognize really what the truth is exactly and that’s really awareness and curiosity and that that asking of the question is is it true is is those are
(39:37) the most powerful three words really that’s the most powerful three-word question you could ask because getting to the root of that and doing so honestly and vulnerability is so important and I love that idea of of don’t plant fears into our kids um because really I mean fear fear is an inevitable part of Being Human we’re gonna have them um and getting like outside influenced of of fear of where that should come from is especially from our parents if something’s so influential yeah that’s
(40:05) uh you know that’s a that’s a big source and it’s hard not to do when we care so much about these kids we you know we tend to like you know maybe shelter them a bit too much maybe keep them away from things that might uh you know might otherwise Empower them um so yeah how uh and I was actually I was I was also kind of tuned into to your your uh story about having those uh you know bringing the the kids from out from other marriages into this new marriage and then having one new kid together um because I’m the product of of that
(40:39) marriage as well I was an only child but I had siblings on both from my parents both both of their marriages so it’s uh nice that you’re having another uh friend for them that’s right they share the same DNA that’s great that’s great yeah yeah uh so uh I I’d love to hear um kind of some of your daily habits like what what do you do to set yourself up for the day how do you stay in the zone of of wanting to be in service how do you start your day I start my day by ending my day and you’re only as good
(41:17) as your last right the last performance and so I end my day in gratitude and I also end my day thinking what do I want to share in the morning and this is a new habit my morning routine changes all the time so what I do is I I pull up Facebook and I think about a message that I want to share with the world in the morning and I type it out so when my alarm goes off guess what the first thing I do is Adam you now know my trick I I post it so I start my day in service I’m laying there in bed thinking about what I want
(41:50) to share with what I could give and then I post that first post in the morning and then and then there’s there’s a prayer of gratitude just like I ended my my day or from the night before and then there’s a lot of other things I can share with you uh that happened from that point but this has been a new one that’s invigorated me that I have just loved yeah so so posting something uh powerful on Facebook and uh and gratitude just gratitude prayer yep very very very powerful I do something similar and I
(42:21) love I love that the Facebook idea of like putting something positive into the world because for about seven years or eight years I’ve been doing a pun a day so I do I do puns like stupid jokes and people hate me for it but I love it because it just puts something positive out there makes people groan so it’s good it’s good to do that kind of service element um and uh uh and the Gratitude what kind of what kind of gratitude are you or what are what are you grateful for in the mornings usually this is what helped
(42:49) ground me and gratitude is grounding and I’m created as a campaign to the book it’s called the Oak and Willow gratitude Journal oh nice and it’s a very simple daily practice to ground yourself encouraging compassion and it’s it’s a simple way to write out five things you’re grateful for which I did when I was in my parents basement and then why you’re grateful for each and then going a little bit deeper who could you share one of these gratitudes with like someone that you’re
(43:18) grateful for that’s connected to this and then the last step of the four I call it the four steps of apply gratitude is honoring the Divinity that gave me this gift with a short and sweet prayer of thanks or a moment of meditation you didn’t create yourself so either it was a Creator or God or it was the universe and just giving that gratitude back and and that practice can be done in a matter of three to four minutes and so that’s what I do and what I invite you know my tribe and my clients to do as well and when you start your
(43:50) day in that way then you’re grounded to your source and you can then go out and your unconscious mind right with that Razz reticulate activating system is searching for more things to be grateful for and then we’re manifesting more now we’re creating rather than consuming and if the first thing that you’re doing is reading what other people are posting on social media then you’re a consumer and I I don’t follow like hardly anyone because I want to be a producer and if you’re not in the world that I’m in
(44:20) which is writing and speaking and coaching then then just stay off of it if you don’t have something to share that’s okay right that’s not for everyone it’s just for me but you can start with that gratitude and ask your question the question what am I producing today yeah I absolutely love that and and one of the and I hope everybody heard this part which was I start my day by ending my day yeah because I I don’t know about you all but when I wake up in the morning or when you wake up in the morning
(44:48) um your day tends to start with the attitude that you went to sleep with and if I’m watching something like a true crime something or whatever on television and it’s in my head I tend to wake up not not in the greatest of moods but if I’m doing the five-minute journal or I’m I’m talking about my day or ending it in some kind of prayer or or it and and uh and really maybe reading something that’s that’s more powerful or a work of fiction or something’s getting my brain to work wake up happier and you
(45:18) know yeah you can and it takes discipline as as with anything because if you wake up and you’re just not feeling it but you still practice that gratitude you know you’re just building the muscle so thank you for sharing that part um and if you uh if if and yeah you mentioned a couple of times you know regarding being in your parents basement I think at the age of 28 yeah right um what’s uh that you know we we all tend to go through multiple periods in our lives of ups and downs and things like that what um what what got you out
(45:52) of that uh that part of your life how did you rise up out of it and and what um um what was the trigger for it it was my environment it was the people that I was I just like just Angels just people that I leaned into and I accepted help from and they were family members they were new friends they were people at church they were people in my workplace and I just began relying on and asking and receiving help from other people because I recognized that I could not do it alone yeah thank you for sharing that because
(46:33) you know while we might be well the important message that we’re getting from this interview too is is to be in service sometimes we need to we are the people that that need that help we do and we need to we need to be able to lean into it when we can lean into that help like you did um it uh it it puts us in a better position to serve over the long term so thank you for sharing that I appreciate the vulnerability there and if you could if you could give a message to with the person you are now if you could share something
(47:04) with you know the 13 year or 14 year old boy who is you know standing in the bathroom on the toilet seat or you know your 28 years old self um I’ll let you choose one which uh what would you say to that person I would say the thoughts that you have right now and the emotions that accompany those thoughts are not who you are you are more than those thoughts those thoughts are electrons right that are wiring and firing together creating neural you know these neurology right these right it’s it’s just it’s not who
(47:41) you are and those chemicals and you’re not your body right if we go to a quantum physics standpoint 99.999999 of who you are is empty space that Quantum physicists are calling condensed light which I call Spirit what you see in the mirror what’s going through on your head that’s not you yeah and I would I would pour into him and I would show him like that great mentor did to me who he was going to become and what I saw in him and I’m grateful that I had that Mentor do that for me at the age of 14 and 28
(48:12) and I continue to find people that will do that for me because even I forget I get stuck in that that old ego and those old patterns and I need someone to help me interrupt that pattern just like I do for others yeah it’s it’s so so easy to get trapped in that pattern but that’s so powerful and um and I know that that can resonate with a lot of people whether if if you’re feeling that way and if you’re listening and you’re feeling that you know that that sense of of you know where your
(48:40) thoughts are telling you something that aren’t that isn’t true ask yourself is this true and um and remember that there there are people there is a community out there there are mentors like Andrew that can help you and uh Andrew where can people reach out to you and find you yes uh let me give you three easy ways the first is Amazon you can find the book strength of the oak strength of the willow uh the second is my website Andrew L anderson.
(49:13) com Anderson spelled o n and then the third is on social media at Andrew L anderson85 I’m live uh every day and I’m sharing and producing and serving um and then the the last way this is the bonus way I said three but the bonus way is I’d like to give a gift to your listeners Adam if that’s okay with you and if they want to send an email and you can put this in in the notes that to Andrew at Andrew L anderson.
(49:37) com it’s my email if they send that email to Andrew andrewanderson.com and just put Adam offer right because I’m not giving this to everyone today but if they dry Adam offer then we’re going to send them the first 30 minute recording of the book or they can get the you know the pdf version and I want them to to just have a taste and when you hear the story and you were able to read that um if you want more you can go get it but I want to give them that that gift if that’s okay absolutely well thank you for offering that up and uh to the
(50:10) listeners out there please take them up on that um because this this was a very powerful interview that that gave a lot of action actionable items on what we can do to find our life’s mission to you know bring greater peace and joy to our lives and to find the communities that’ll best that we can best uh be of service and get the service that we need so reach out to Andrew Andrew at Andrew L anderson.
(50:40) com and type in Adam offer and uh and Andrew will get that to you and also check him out on his website buy the book strength of the strength of the oak strength of the willow on Amazon uh Andrew thank you so much for being here man this was a great conversation I appreciate it oh you’re a great conversationalist it’s uh it’s an honor to be with you and with your tribe thank you and to everyone else out there thank you so much for joining us today look forward to catching you next time hey everyone Thanks for tuning in to the
(51:06) flow over fear podcast if you’d like to learn more about getting into flow and learn the foundations of flow I have a free video series on my website at www.adamcliffordhill.com called the foundations of flow feel free to go there and download it and start your journey to Rising above fear and achieving greater flow in your life if you like this episode and I’m guessing you did if you stuck around for this long then please do me a favor and hit the Subscribe button and you will receive notifications when I have new
(51:39) interviews new Recaps and new trainings that pop up on YouTube thanks again for joining us